air listers, both those who do, and those who do not like poetry-
the ultimate frisbee season begins again tomorrow, wednesday, at 6:30 PM at the park behind the institute. to help out the newer folks, I've compiled a helpful list of frequently asked questions:
who normally comes to these things?
everyone who attends is physically strong, mentally awake*, and morally straight. even if you're not those things, we tell you you are. ultimate is a game of acceptance and love**.
I don't know anything about ultimate. should I come?
yes. and yes. and yes. we're not incredibly sophisticated. we just like running after flying discs. think dogs with two legs***.
isn't frisbee for sissies?
what if I can't throw a frisbee?
don't worry, neither can I.
is donaldina the best name for a park ever?
yes. and yes.
is kenji the best player to ever grace our presence?
it's a toss up between he and adam w. watching them is like watching picasso, running and diving and catching a roundish brush with no paint.
I have to choose between the temple trip and ultimate. which do I attend?
please, give me a harder question. temple is open when people? that's right, the rest of the week.****
aren't you a tad bit strange for sending poetry to the lds list?
I could ask you the same question.
how much money would I have to pay you to stop you from spamming the lds listserve again?
money wouldn't do it. but I'd consider shutting up if you busted my kneecaps. or cut off my pinky. that would probably be enough. actually, just the threat of cutting off my pinky would do it. or threaten to twist it really hard. with a steel cable. and fire ants. with ant diseases.
*so the mentally awake thing is a bit of a lie in my case. but everyone else is. I promise.
**I know at least one married couple who met on the field of ultimate.
***of course, if you come, you're not a dog. you're amazing. end of story.
****okay, before I get hate mail from the temple folks, let me just state that at the temple they probably cover not sending hate mail, so please don't. I'd probably be more sure about this if I had ever skipped ultimate for the temple. for the record, I'm just joking around--everyone knows that righteous people would go to the temple. but I'm betting there's enough wickedness around here to round up some decent teams.