the return of benj: ultimate saturday 9:30 park behind institute
ultimate shall be played tomorrow, saturday, at 9:30 AM at the park behind the institute.
in many instances throughout history, individuals of great acclaim have been forced to leave areas and people to which they are deeply attached. some of them are great (and egotistical) generals, who get forced off of islands and proclaim they "shall return". some of them are large actors who state their intention of coming back, then go on to govern an ungovernable state.
some of them, however, are as-of-yet relatively unknown figures to the world at large. take, for example, an average-looking white male whose looks deceive, as his above-averageness is indicated by the locations in which he has called home: austria, bolivia, romania, spanish fork*, and sweden. he holds two degrees from stanford, climbs mountains, speaks multiple languages, and can discuss classical music and literature like most men are capable of discussing...ummm...something that men are capable of discussing...I'd say cars, but I can't really talk about cars, and I'm not writing these emails to knock on my masculinity. but he can discuss the classics pretty durn good**.
his name may not be known to you newcomers, but yours is known to him, as he knows all. by the annals of history he will be known as benjamin christensen, but to you and me, he is known only by four letters:
his return is immenent, and he will reward the faithful with a frabjous game of ultimate frisbee. his skill with the disc rivals the most elevated of players: jon daniels, adam wilson, kenji, steve pearson, tim mason, and the elusive annette thacker. however, uncoordinated folks like myself, do not be afraid, he is also intensely humble (even if he has no reason to be). I cannot recommend a man more highly than mr. christensen (in every way), and I invite you to come bask in his supreme awesomeness***.
the game will be one for the ages. fifty years from now, don't you want to be able to say that you had the courage to play ultimate this day?****
come to play, come to awe, come to glory.
*yes, spanish fork is decidedly average, but appears somewhat exotic when placed with a list of foreign countries.
**as they say in spanish fark.
***remember, there is no charge for awesomeness. or attractiveness.
****personally, I'd like to be able to say I never saw the sequel to transformers, but I'm afraid I'll never get those three hours (and bazillion brain cells) back.